I recently started listening to a new podcast: Angie Martinez- IRL (In Real Life) and quickly fell in love with it. I was born and raised in Queens, NY, so I’m very familiar with one of the most well known radio personalities in NY, Angie Martinez. I’m not a huge follower of podcasts, I prefer listening to music in my travels and at the gym, but I had to give my girl Angie a listen.

I enjoy the simplicty of it. Because I don’t listen to many other podcasts, I’m not sure if they’re mostly built this way in general. I enjoy the cleanliness and purity of this new endeavor for her. Her voice is easy to listen to and familiar to me, so I already feel a comfort and connection to her. The interactions feel personal, almost like I’m eavesdropping on a private conversation. Angie allows the space for vulnerability without judgment and builds a rapport so seemlessly, she can gently play devil’s advocate without creating friction. Even with the trailers I’ve seen videos for, there aren’t entourages (unless they’re in the background somewhere); there isn’t a fixed location; there aren’t props and posters hanging all around of her endorsers. It’s just simple.

The conversations seem effortless- maybe because she’s talking to people she wants to talk to, not people who are chosen specifically for ratings or because her producers said so. Angie is engaging, empathtic, enlightening, unafraid to learn and ask questions for clarity – she isn’t afraid to be confused about something said. I’ve been listening to the podcast on Spotify, and without video. I can hear the inquisitiveness in her questions. I can feel when she is talking to a guest about a difficult moment and hear when the ‘mama bear’ is turned up. She seems as though she genuinely takes something away from each conversation and I love that.

A little background was necessary before I jumped into my thoughts. On Angie’s podcast- Angie Martinez- IRL– she asks her guests if there is a superpower that someone else has that they wish they had or hope to gain (paraphrased). She also asks them what they think their purpose is. I feel like those are doozies, but I’d like to try to answer as we come into this new year of 2023.

A superpower that someone else has, that I’d want for myself or hope to gain- the ability to brag on myself a little bit. I think that’s an incredibly hard thing to do without feeling cocky or arrogant. It feels like, ‘ooh, look at me’ and while I don’t mind the spotlight, I don’t like to turn the light on myself. I’ve missed a couple opportunities because when it came time to put in a good word for myself, I didn’t push as hard as I should’ve. Someone else being a sponsor or advocate for me and speaking in rooms when I’m not there can only take me so far. It’s the step between someone speaking my name in that room to showing and proving. Being able to speak on my accomplishments is the connecting piece- the bridge. No one else can speak as passionately as I can about what I’ve done or give as many details.

I’ve seen men and women (men more than women though) accomplish this and although I’ve seen it work for them, it seems terrifying to me. If someone asks, I can certainly run down what I’ve done, but just starting that conversation for myself- whew. To be unpacked at a later date- but I’m sure there’s some imposter syndrome in there too. So if my name gets mentioned in that room; if I engulf my audience with regales of my adventures and successes; and then I’m given the opportunity to show and prove, I may still hear in my own head, ‘Am I really ready?’ ‘Maybe I should stay here for another year or 2.’ ‘Simone’s been in the space years longer than I have, maybe it should be her.’ To that I’m prepared to say to myself, ‘B, please get out of your head and just do it.’

Previously, I’ve been asked why I chose to apply to a particular position, by leaders around me. Early on, I was asked why I applied for one position, when senior leadership was ready to have me lead a team. They weren’t all about leading teams. I had a SVP of HR ask me why I applied for one position and not another, and this wasn’t based off her knowing me, but because she’d heard of me in a few rooms I wasn’t in. I told her I didn’t think I was ready; that I had so much to learn; that there were so many more prepared people. SMH. She told me to never do that again and if I saw something else I’d better apply. I mean what could it hurt- worst case scenario is I don’t get the job, but they now know my name or I get knowledge of what interviewing for that position is like.

So- superpower that I will gain- stand tall on what I do know and what I’ve accomplished. I’ve got to learn to say that shit with my chest (in my Kevin Hart voice) and be bold. I can be humble and not be obnoxious, but still tell my story out loud and not just on paper. My resume can’t speak to my experiences with the same excitement and passion that I can.

Angie’s next question- my purpose. My question to Angie would be, does it have to be just one? I feel like my purpose evolves with different stages of my life. One purpose that will stand strong and tall always, is to help my children be the best version of themselves possible. Being a compassionate, empathetic, teaching, honest mom is important to what I want my legacy to be. Much of my purpose surrounds my children- I mean we don’t need any more shitty people in the world- so I’ll take the time to impart all the wisdom I can to leave the world with kind, smart, driven children who will be that way even after I’m gone- you’re welcome.

Another purpose I feel strongly drawn to is helping people. That’s broad as hell and kinda cliché and generic, I know. That purpose is dynamic and will also be life-long. As you all know, I enjoy talking to and helping veterans. Their lives are fascinating and I feel compelled to serve them in any way I can. I didn’t have the calling to join the military myself, but when I got old enough to learn what a real sacrifice (sometimes in the ultimate way) being part of the armed forces was (especially for my dad), I’ve felt like I needed to do something to thank them.

At one point in my life, I felt like my purpose was to solve everyone’s problems around me (I’m balancing that better now). I really feel like I’m an empath and I feel the emotional delights and distresses of other people strongly. People close to me would talk to me about something going on in their lives and I’d start thinking of ways I could fix it right after the conversation- sometimes during. That shit was stressful and I internalized other people’s problems too much- sometimes seemingly more than they did. These days, I can’t care more than you do about your personal problem. Now, I actively listen and offer advice (if I have any) if asked. I don’t insert myself and assume they’re telling me because they want me to fix it.

Superpowers and Purposes. Both evolving and ever-changing concepts dependent on the season of my life. With my daughter getting ready to go away to college and my twins a few short years behind her, figuring out what’s next in my career, and staying engaged with family, I’m sure these thoughts will change again, but for right now, they are what they are.

Thanks for ‘listening’.

-Just Get Out There And Be Dope-

AJ DOM